OHDUDE

lickystickypickyme:

1. Pirates do not cry, except in the case of the loss of a shipload of rum.
2. Pirates shall always wear boots, except in the case of a peg leg. Then one boot is acceptable. Flip-flops are right out.
3. When describing the size of a treasure, a pirate is required to exaggerate by at least 130%. Flowers are not treasure under any circumstances, unless said flowers are made out of gold.
4. A pirate shall never wear lipstick, nail polish, or capri pants. Actually, that kinda goes without saying.
5. All foods prepared by a pirate must include rum, grog, or beer. Boone’s and other “Wench Punch” is prohibited.
6. A pirate may never compliment another pirate on the softness of his hands.
7. A pirate should always remove his hat in the presence of a bartender.

more laws here.

also..I am clearly not a pirate. No flip-flops is not an option.